Saturday, June 28, 2014

YOU ARE MORE THAN YOUR DIAGNOSIS

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Salah satu website yang saya ikuti adalah Parenting.com , dan hari ini saya menemukan catatan tentang seorang istri yang didiagnosa mengalami kesulitan kehamilan, "infertil". well, pelajaran dari tulisan ini bagus sekali,
"YOU ARE MORE THAN YOUR DIAGNOSIS"

selamat membaca, semoga menginspirasi ibu - ibu muda  ^.^

Infertility is a part of my daily life. In fact, even when I'm not in the middle of an injectable medication cycle, I write about infertility. Even if we are taking a break from treatments, I still talk about our struggle to friends who are going through the same thing. Jackson, our 4-year-old, is at the age where he is actively asking questions about why everyone in his preschool class "has a baby" at home and he doesn't. I can't seem to outrun my empty uterus, and it can get overwhelming if I let it.

But if you are struggling—or have struggled—to get pregnant, can I just remind you that you are more than your infertility? I know that I certainly need the reminder sometimes. Since I started this column with Parenting.com, my Facebook inbox has been full of messages from friends and strangers who can relate to all of this fertility chatter. I love receiving the messages and reading about your protocol, advice and fears. For me, it just affirms that I'm not alone. You're not alone either.

When I read each message, I'm overwhelmed with how alike we all are. No matter if you've been struggling for one year or 15 to have a baby, if you ended up pregnant as a surprise, or if you worked hard to have a birth mother place a child in your arms, familiar paths tie our journeys together. I've spoken to women who have echoed my feelings of inadequacy when people look at us with more pity than empathy. I have exchanged emails with women who are sick of their OB-GYNs placing them on Clomid cycles for more than 6 months, and through the hot flashes and mood swings, they don't know how to advocate for their treatment. I have also heard from women who are irritated with our society's way of measuring a marriage's worth by how soon a couple has children.

I started to think about all of these emotions and shared struggles as my husband and I get emotionally ready to go back to our reproductive endocrinologist's office in July to restart our journey for Baby No. 2. I realized I need to remind myself that I am more than my infertility, and I wondered if you need to remember that too. Let's be brave together and remind ourselves that we aren't defined by our failed ovulation cycles. Here is what I am; what else are you?

I am a writer who thinks it's hilarious, thrilling and terrifying that people pay me for my thoughts. I am a small town girl living in a big city who sometimes desperately misses knowing everyone in town. I am a wannabe yogi who is getting close to mastering a handstand but also fell on my face during Crow pose last week at class. I am a Christian who prays for my son and my marriage daily. I am a daughter who still calls my mom when I get sick or when my son gets sick, just so I can hear her voice. I am a proud sister who almost bursts when I talk about how flippin' awesome my little brother is.

I am an avid reader and brownie lover. I sneak in a nap any time I can. I am an introvert who prefers texting over voice-to-voice phone calls, unless said calls are from my hubby, mom or two best friends from high school. I think one of the best things I got out of my marriage (besides my husband) is my sister-in-law, who comes with me to guilty pleasure movies.

I am funny (sometimes). I am physically and emotionally strong. I am capable of running a household, writing four articles during my son's naptime and making a mean meatloaf. I believe that good beats evil, always. I am a lifelong learner. I am a really grateful mama to a 4-year-old with brown eyes and a compassionate heart. I am a not-so-perfect wife to a principal with olive skin and a hilarious sense of humor.

I am more than my infertility. So are you. Write in the comments section here what you are. I can't wait to read all about you!

counting down 21th

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Menghitung hari menuju umur yang ke-21, tak henti saya mensyukuri nikmat dan anugrah hidup yang Allah berikan pada saya. Sepanjang satu tahun mencicipi kepala dua ini, rasanya Allah memberikan banyak pelajaran untuk mendewasakan saya, untuk memantaskan saya menapaki jalan di usia matang.

Tidak muda lagi memang, sudah tidak pantas ber-lalala yeyeye tanpa tujuan. Waktu yang terlewat sudah cukup panjang untuk disia – siakan . im not a girl anymore, im a strong women . dan saya bersyukur kepada Tuhan Yang Maha Agung atas limpahan kasih sayangnya sepanjang kehidupan ini.

Satu tahun ini, ditahun kedua puluh, Allah memberikan saya jalan yang mudah untuk lulus ujian kompre pada gelombang pertama di bulan oktober tahun 2013, tanpa perlu mengulang dan tanpa syarat. Tak lama berselang, saya lolos tes menjadi auditor lapangan untuk proyek PNPM Mandiri dibawah Kantor Akuntan Publik Budiman Wawan Pamuji dan rekan. Allah memudahkan jalan saya untuk diwisuda awal tahun ini, dengan waktu tempuh studi 2,5 Tahun atau 5 Semester . Meski waktu wisuda berbarengan dengan letusan Gunung Kelud dan menyebabkan Graha Sabha dipenuhi dengan debu vulkanik yang menyesakkan, tapi Allah melancarkan prosesi Wisudanya. Sehari berselang setelah wisuda, saya mengajukan lamaran pekerjaan di instansi rumah sakit yang kemudian dua minggu setelahnya, setelah melewati berbagai tes saya resmi bekerja di instansi tersebut. Di Rsi Yogyakarta PDHI. Tempat yang nyaman untuk bekerja dan sangat islami. Allah menyegerakan saya untuk mandiri dan bisa membantu umi dan abi.

Rasanya, cinta Allah besar sekali untuk saya. Dan betapa tidak tahu dirinya saya yang masih mengeluh ini dan itu.  Ampuni hamba ya Allah.

Dengan bertambahnya usia saya menuju tahun ke 21,  saya berdoa untuk dimudahkan segala jalan hidup menuju mimpi – mimpi saya . dimudahkan untuk membahagiakan umi abi dan dimudahkan jodohnya. Saya percaya, setiap tahun yang dilalui Allah akan memberi anugrah besar untuk kita.

Dan terimakasih Allah atas kenikmatan yang luar biasa tak terkira.. untuk umi abi atas segala doa dan ridhonya.. untuk sahabat- sahabat yang tulus mendoakan saya... dan untuk calon suami yang memotivasi saya untuk mengejar ketertinggalan ini, karena dibalik laki-laki hebat selalu ada wanita yang luar biasa. Bisa jadi ... saat ini Allah belum mempertemukan saya dengan calon suami karena saya belulm cukup luar biasa untuk membuatnya hebat. 

Allah,  aku mencintaimu..